How to Write Headlines

A headline can name the action and still leave readers wondering what they'll get. "Start a Highrise Account" came last of five headline combinations on Highrise's signup page.

The leading headline was "30-day Free Trial on All Accounts", followed by "Sign-up takes less than 60 seconds. Pick a plan to get started!"

In January 2009, Jason Fried reported that this pair led the original by 30% on clicks to any "Sign Up" button. Google Website Optimizer had rotated the five combinations over about 4,000 page views.

Fried didn't report statistical significance. The comparison measured button clicks and changed heading and subheading together, so it can't establish a completed-signup gain or isolate the heading's effect. We can still examine the writing choice: the leading pair explained the trial and the effort of starting.

What job does a headline have?

A headline tells the right reader what the page offers, quickly enough that they decide to keep going. "Start a Highrise Account" told visitors what to do and left them to guess why.

For a worked example, take this invented brief: a freelancer follows a listing for single-day desk bookings to a shared workspace's page. The booking includes Wi-Fi, and visitors choose an available date before paying.

The freelancer arrives looking for a desk for one working day. There's no evidence that working there makes anyone more productive.

The page needs to help a freelancer decide whether to book a day. Its headline can identify the offer while the subheading explains what's included, much as Highrise's leading pair divided the trial and signup details.

If you're still working out what makes the offer useful to that reader, start with the value proposition.

Collect the material before opening a formula list

The leading Highrise combination made claims about trial length and signup time. Gather evidence for those kinds of claims about your own offer before you open a formula list.

In the workspace brief, mark the day booking and Wi-Fi as supplied terms. Keep customer language beside its source, using voice of customer research to gather it. "Freelancers want to work faster" stays an assumption until research supports it.

The workspace brief

Help a freelancer decide whether to book a desk for a day.

Offer terms

Effort

Evidence status

Offer terms

• A single-day desk booking includes Wi-Fi.

Effort

• The visitor chooses an available date before paying.

Evidence status

• The brief supplies no evidence of a productivity gain.

A time claim needs more checking than most. Decide what counts as starting and finishing, and whose experience the number describes. If you can't back it up, keep it off the shortlist while you find out.

Write different arguments before different sentences

Highrise's original and its leader made different arguments, one about an action and one about an offer. Try that range with the workspace brief before spending time on sentence rhythm.

Workspace candidates across different angles

Task

Book a desk for a day.

Names the action and the booking length; the subheading can explain what's included.

Terms

A desk and Wi-Fi for the day.

Leads with the package; it needs a booking instruction nearby.

Effort

See available desk dates before you pay.

Explains the sequence; keep it only if that question deserves the opening position.

Show more

Unsupported outcome

Your most productive working day starts here.

Reject: the brief contains no evidence that a desk booking improves productivity.

"Work better" and "Work smarter" would belong to the same vague angle. The candidates above give you actual choices about which fact comes first; changing a verb alone wouldn't produce that range.

Headline formulas can help you present those facts. Keep the offer in view while you use them, so a borrowed construction doesn't slip in a promise you can't keep.

Screen out the promises you cannot keep

If you add a signup-time claim to the workspace shortlist, check it against the full flow visitors must complete.

Check a signup-time claim

Does your timing evidence cover the whole signup required by the page?

YesRecord the start and finish points beside the proposed time claim.

NoLeave the time out while you check the actual signup flow.

The date-led candidate promises a sequence: visitors can inspect availability before paying. If the site asks for payment before showing dates, reject that line until the flow or wording changes.

Benefit-driven headlines shows how to keep a practical benefit tied to evidence. Here, the desk and the day's access are enough to build a specific line without promising a change in someone's output.

Shortlist by comparing the trade-offs

Shortlist "Book a desk for a day" and "A desk and Wi-Fi for the day." The first makes the booking task clear; the second gives Wi-Fi equal billing with the desk. Leave the date-selection line for supporting copy unless research shows payment timing is the main concern.

Nielsen Norman Group recommends making sure a headline works out of context. Its weak example, "New times call for new decisions," could sit above almost any page. Read each candidate alone, away from the design, and write down what you can tell about the offer.

Shortlist choice: Book a desk for a day

Pros

• A reader can identify the booking action and its duration without the design.
• The subheading has room to explain Wi-Fi and date selection.

Cons

• It leaves the included Wi-Fi out of the opening line.
• It needs the calendar to make availability clear before payment.

Choose "Book a desk for a day" provisionally: it confirms the single-day booking the freelancer followed the listing to find. Wi-Fi belongs in the subheading for this arrival.

Keep the package-led alternative for a reader check: do people assume Wi-Fi is extra when they see the task-led version?

Record the unresolved question before publishing.

Leave room for a second editorial decision

Place the task-led headline beside the desk-and-Wi-Fi alternative. Ask another editor what each makes them expect to receive, then show the subheading and check whether it settles any uncertainty about Wi-Fi.

These drafting aids let you compare headline angles before choosing a line.

Edit the choice in its actual setting

Put "Book a desk for a day" above "Your booking includes Wi-Fi. Choose an available date before you pay." Add the button "Choose a date" and read the whole unit: each part now supplies information the visitor needs for the next step.

Try the pair with larger text on a narrow screen. If the subheading drops below the button, the visitor may be asked to choose a date before seeing what's included.

If a narrow layout hides "for a day," the remaining "Book a desk" loses a term that helped earn the choice. Adjust the layout before cutting the duration from the line.

W3C's heading guidance explains how a proper heading structure helps people move through a page, including with assistive technology. Ask whoever builds the page to give your headline that structure.

Get evidence without calling a preference a win

Show likely readers the workspace candidates and ask what they think a booking includes. Record whether they expect a private office or a desk in a shared room before asking which line they prefer.

A preference can guide your editorial choice. To measure an effect on behavior, Microsoft Research describes properly designed randomized experiments, and the lesson on A/B testing copy covers that work.

If you can't run a worthwhile test, publish the best-supported choice and keep the decision note. Low traffic doesn't make an informal before-and-after comparison any more conclusive.

For this page, count completed desk bookings if that's the outcome you need to improve. If you change the subheading too, describe the comparison as a test of the pair.

Don't declare victory because one version briefly pulls ahead, and don't keep checking until you see a result you like.

Choose a shortlist with reasons

Put the audience and the page's purpose at the top of a decision sheet. The Headlines topic gives you more ways to develop the supported candidates. List each with the source of its facts.

Record the task-led choice with its Wi-Fi and date-selection subheading. Keep the package-led alternative beside it until the reader check shows what each version communicates. The note should explain why the booking action earned the first position.

In the invented reader check, one freelancer reads "Book a desk for a day" and asks whether the desk comes with its own room. The team adds "in our shared workspace" to the subheading.

The next reader describes an open room with desks and Wi-Fi, then points to "Choose a date" and asks to see the calendar.